I don’t recall ever calling her mommy.

I don’t recall ever calling her momma.

I don’t recall ever calling her mother.

I always remember calling her mom, and mom was always there.

One of my first childhood memories has to do with birthday cakes.  When I was very young, around 4-5 years old, I can remember having kitchen curtains with pictures of cakes on them; these cakes were all different colors.  For my birthday, my mom would always let me choose which color of cake we would have.  I looked forward to this every year, and I never did understand how she could make the cakes in different colors.  I still don’t get it – I was so fortunate to have a mom that could make different colors of cakes!  And you talk about some good “Pudge,” my mom and my aunt Maxine could make the best “Pudge” in town; just ask cousin Ed, he always had to have some pudge for his “burpday.”  Boy, were we lucky!

Mom was always lucky too (either that or someone was really looking after her); it almost got embarrassing for me.  At Bridgeport Elementary School, we had PTA meetings once a month, and at these meetings they always had drawings for door prizes.  It seems practically every time they would draw a name and announce “the winner of tonight’s door prize is…Joyce Vance.”  It finally got to where I would go to the restroom during these drawings, because I knew she would very likely win the prize again; you could count on it.

One thing we could always count on was mom; it didn’t matter what the situation or what circumstance was, we knew she would be there.  I can remember playing at the school ground across the street, and somebody getting hurt.  There was another lady there at the time, but I can remember her saying “quick, go get Joyce, she’ll know what to do.”  We grew up in a wonderfully close neighborhood, and mom was “mom” to more than just Barbara, Brenda, and me.  We had that “stable” home that many people search for today.  Life was so consistent; we knew what to count on.

One thing we could always count on was church at Northside.  We knew what the schedule was, and very seldom did we deviate.  Something we could count on after services was Pot Roast – I mean EVERY Sunday.  Pot Roast with potatoes, cooked carrots, and gravy; mind you I’m not complaining.  It was great!  After Sunday evening services, it was grill cheese sandwiches and oyster soup.  Now, I am complaining!  The soup was OK, it just “fishing” all the oysters out before eating it.  Our meals were very consistent; even on weekdays, we knew dinnertime was 5 o’clock.

When I was a teenager, I kind of abused this so-called dinnertime.  When I got home from school, I would eat a couple of sandwiches then go play ball.  At 5 o’clock, I would come home drink a big glass of milk with my meal, drink another glass of milk with my two helpings of the meal, and then wash all that down with another glass of milk!  Then, I would go out and play some more ball.  After it got too dark to play, I would return home and eat chips and dip or whatever else was available.  Then if we were out of milk, I would wash it down with Alka-Seltzer!  Yes, I actually liked the stuff.  I can specifically remember mom telling me “when you have kids, if they eat like you do, you aren’t gonna have any money!”  Boy was she ever right on that one.  It seems my kids did all inherit my appetite, and mom taught us all to make happy plates – I’m sure that is quite obvious.  In fact, a few of my sons seem to make it their goal to make everyone else’s plates happy also.  There is another thing mom passed down to all of us.

I’m sure nobody has noticed, but we are all somewhat vertically challenged (and I’m not talking about jumping ability).  This is mostly mom’s fault.  Dad was 5’10” at one time, but mom, at her tallest point, was 4’10”.  As years wore on, and osteoporosis took its toll, she got down to 4’6”.  Mom was short in stature, but that was all she was short in.

You will never find another person as big on the inside as mom.  She was always there for us.  If we needed advice, she was there; if we needed encouragement, she was there; if we needed a lecture, she was there.  It didn’t matter what kind of assistance we needed; mom was always there.  During dad’s last few years, she was always there for him.  Although neither one of them had any business looking after each other – they managed to get by.  I remember them checking on each other from different rooms in the house “are you OK?” “Yes, are you OK?”

After dad passed away 4 years ago, mom was still OK; she was such a people person.  She absolutely loved living at Country Acres and the people that were there.  Even there, she had her regular routine.  You could count on her going to the meeting room to talk every night.  You could count on her making her regular phone calls to the same people every night.  She just loved people.  Even after going to the nursing home in Clearwater, mom continued to enjoy life.  She enjoyed sitting at their dinner table and looking after others not as fortunate as her.  Mom would always make sure they had what they needed and that they didn’t give their utensils back to early – they need to save those for desert!

During the last few years we made many, many trips to the hospital. Usually, it was because mom had taken a fall or her oxygen level had dropped extremely low.  None of this fazed mom; she would always remark how nice all the people are that are taking care of her.  They were all good people.  After mom’s trip to the hospital last summer, she became even more “friendly.” 

On one weekend, the Dr.’s did not expect her to make it; we more or less prepared ourselves for that.  I think you might call it a “near death experience,” but whatever it was, when mom woke up on Monday morning, she was unbelievably cheerful, joking around (which was really more like dad), and asking when she was going home.  We didn’t know what to say.  The Dr.’s were astonished too, and they let her go home a few days later.

We could always count on mom.  Now she has finally gone home for good; no more falls and no more keeping the oxygen mask on.  I’m sure she is in Heaven with dad and others that have gone on before – you can count on it.  I know there is also something mom is counting on, that is for all of us here to join them in Heaven for a big reunion.  I think she should be able to count on us this time.